Jay-Z has released another album.  This one’s called Kingdom Come.

He releases an album every couple of years that’s like, “I’m so good at rap, I’m retiring!”  Then he comes out with one a couple years later.  “I’m back!  And I’m still the best at rap!  I’m retiring again!”

You can’t just keep retiring, Jay-Z.  Can you imagine if normal people did that at their jobs?  “I’m so good at fixing this printer, I’m retiring!”  Then on Monday, he just shows up, like nothing had happened.  There’s a temp doing his job now.  “Nobody can replace me!  I’m the best in this office!  I’m screwing Judy in accounts recievable!”

He gets fired.  He’s like, “This truly is a hard-knock life.”

I take pride in my sandwiches.  Yesterday I had an LGBT.

It was lettuce, bacon, tomato, and just a hint of gay.